first steps

I gather all my courage, but my heart still aches

I hold my breath as I turn the first page

Tears roll down my cheeks but I know I have to face him

I fear most of all that I will forget him

That the vacuum that is in my heart will be filled

I don’t want anything to fill his memories

I don’t want to lose the only thing that keeps him alive in me

Will he be there always to guide me even If I can’t feel his presence?

I fear most of losing the memories that you have left behind

I hope you know that I still love you

Even though I couldn’t tell you how I felt once more before I had to let you go.