One of my favourite songs - I Believe in you by Don Williams

I don't believe in superstars,
Organic food and foreign cars.
I don't believe the price of gold;
The certainty of growing old.
That right is right and left is wrong,
That north and south can't get along.
That east is east and west is west.
And being first is always best.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,
For only those who congregate.
I like to think of God as love:
He's down below, He's up above.
He's watching people everywhere.
He knows who does and doesn't care.
And I'm an ordinary man,
Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love.
I believe in music.
I believe in magic.
And I believe in you.

I know with all my certainty, 
What's going on with you and me, 
Is a good thing.
It's true, I believe in you. 

I don't believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be. 
In working days and sleeping nights,
That black is black and white is white. 
That Superman and Robin Hood,
Are still alive in Hollywood.
That gasoline's in short supply,
The rising cost of getting by.

But I believe in love.
I believe in old folks. 
I believe in children.
I believe in you.

I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.


- - - - - - - - - 


Listen to it... you will love it... :)

Time to fly...

It is time to fly... I have had one of the best experiences in my life in the past few weeks... I have broaden my horizons... been encouraged to see things differently and felt loved, immensely...

Staying away from my comfort zone for 2 weeks, was a challenge, I took up with an agenda... an agenda, where I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it - I can live without my mom, my friends who are just a knock or phone call away, my lovely baby, my bed and my knicknacks which provide me company whenever I feel lonely and down...

But I did it... and now its time to fly...

It is time to fly back home, meet everyone and tell them I missed them and happy that I am back... and I know they missed me too...  messages, the calls and and the come back soons!!!  said it all...

The time here in this strange city seemed to pass so slowly, but I experience the richness of it... I experienced people like I never did before... it does not change the way I feel about the city but it still gives it a benefit of doubt...

It is time to fly... its time to take what I got from here and roam the ends of the earth... I realised in these 10 days, that it is time for me to move out of what I feel most comfortable in and move away from everything I knew was the way it should be... it is time to find myself, it is time to spread my wings, to meet and experience people and to reach the potentialities that only I know exists...

It is time to fly... its time to come out of myself... stop looking at what the future holds for me, but live in the moment... to understand how precious I am... how much love I can give and still have loads left inside of me... to understand how beautifully God has created me and actually feel it and just live the life he has given me, without asking, why this Lord, why not that?

It is not easy to give up control, but as I learnt, sometimes things are meant to happen... we just meet people who affect us and we affect them in numerous and unseeming ways and when that actually turns out to be the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to you, you will never realise until the time has passed and you look at it from an outsider's perspective...

It is time to fly...  it is time to test my limitations... it is time to take my spiritual journey and not get caught up in the routine of life... the challenge that I face today is to either give up control and just live life for others, or take a stand and live it on my terms... which I know is not possible.. therefore its time to find a mid way and not a compromise, it is time to take the most important decisions in my life for myself and not for the people I value.. because it I don't want to rationalise those decisions and say, it was for them... even though I will not blame them... because in my deepest recesses of my heart, I will always regret that I had to let go of people who actually brought the most happiness in my life...

Most importantly its time to fly home, to give a hug to my mom, be a part of my best friend's wedding, to go back to the routine of work and extra work!, and have fun being around people that I cherish, but always loving more than that what I am capable of...

The journey so far has been good, bad, ugly, happy, sad and full of bumping in and out of people... Looking forwards to more bumps... but as someone special once told me... the best and the most happiest moments in my life are yet to come...

And indeed, love is all around us... we just need to open our eyes...

Love

There are so many definitions of 'Love' and I only knew and experienced only a part of it and did not know I could love again. But today I can proudly say that love has many facets and today my definition of love has changed.
For me today Love is freedom, without expectations, unconditional and understanding... it has no boundaries, it only has a starting point, which you will never find and it goes on and on and on... 

Someone recently described their love for me as -  "eternal, abysmal, deep, secure, immense, powerful, colourful, pure, sweet, beautiful, careful, sexy, naughty, nasty, sober, calm, cheerful, unbounded, free yet confined in you... but, love cannot be measured."
And surely I cannot find a better way to describe my love for him, even though I know this love needs to be submerged, I will always cherish it and love again.

I do not know how we are at this cross roads right now, but I love him most of all because he loves me for who I am, and because loving him has made me love me and love my soul. 
Most of all I would like to thank him for freeing me, because of that freedom I can imagine, laugh without inhibition and most importantly can write down my thoughts.

Love you always, love you forever, love you for what you are and what you will be tomorrow, and love you most because I got to experience your love for me. :)

First attempt of the New Year!!!

Again, I find it difficult to pen down my thoughts... this is my first attempt to write down what I am feeling!

It has been a difficult start to the year... actually fun interspersed with sadness and right now sadness is winning!

I am trying my hardest, to get over it... to move on... forget it... look at the sliver lining... but its difficult to do all of the above...

Right now the only voice in my head is telling me to smile, to go out of my way to be happy and to embrace and cherish the people who actually reciprocate what I feel for them... this actually feels so funny even to write; it just makes me realise that every dream I had in the last 4 odd years, have just vanished... and now its up to me, to write and weave new dreams!

So even though I do not want to weave new dreams, because I do not want them to perish without seeing the light of day, I have to do so!! I have to make my self get out of the melodramatic scene that has been created in my life right now and rise to the occasion... I need to show myself that I am the independent, fun loving, mature, dynamic; person that I always knew I was...

This new year gives me the opportunity to rediscover who actually I am... and rightly so, I shall do that!!!

A good day!!!

Today was a good day... atleast compared to the last few or more than a few days, today was a good day!!!

I did not finish what I planned for the day... nor did I meet someone, because I did not even move out of my house... nor did I do something out of the ordinary... I was still unwell... but still...

It was a normal day nothing out of the ordinary... but I did wake up with a smile... I woke up with a phone call, a phone call which gave me the best news, a news that we were all waiting for...

Unexpectedly we have another thing to look forward to in November and again its feeling so great!!! The last phone call of the day also ended on a very positive note...

Hmmm... ??!!??

Oh! now I understand, that even though, my life is at a standstill right now; I have realised that the lives of the people I love is moving on... and that make me happy!!! :)

Love you everyone...

Reflection!!!

'A Rebel' , I said. For the first time in the last 2 months since I left my job for something more fulfilling in terms of job satisfaction, but penniless in terms of what I got payed in my last job; I understood what I had actually accomplished!!!

In those few minutes of reflection, to help describe myself, out of all the adjectives I could think of, this is what struck me the most...

A Rebel - sounds so daring... for the people who know me, its not at all what they would describe me to be... but today I stand tall and feel proud to say, 'yes I am... a rebel with a cause - to make myself happy!!!' - 'period'....

I have gone from utter pain, to nothingness, to having the most fulfilling jobs in the world!!!

I am loving the fact that I am a Rebel :) :)

New year!!!

Its time for resolutions and reflection...

When I look back at the year gone by, there is happiness and loads of change... so many new people in my life and how did it happen is so mysterious...

One day I was out of a job and the next I have 3 jobs lined up...

I have learnt one thing in this past one year, God takes care of every little thing in your life and every thing happens for a reason.... and most of all, when you just loose hope and feel everything is lost, God opens one door and the only thing you have to do is walk in...

I walked in with mixed emotions... but what I found is happiness...

Have a great year ahead... I know I will :)